You are the Most Important Asset in Your Business – Be Kind to Yourself

This is number 1 in my ‘A decade of small business learning’ for a reason. I didn’t recognise it and I certainly wasn’t nice to myself, the consequence of which was quite serious. 

For the first time ever, I had a genuine overwhelming experience of something you could call depression or burn-out or chronic fatigue. I’m not great at seeking help and I wouldn’t go to a doctor because I feared being part of the “mental health system*”, so I can’t give you a clinical diagnosis, but I can tell you how it felt and it wasn’t good. At the height of these feelings my research hit some pretty low points.   

If you know anything about my story, you know that in my corporate career, I reached the exact heights of seniority I wanted to go to in a multibillion-pound organisation. I had a team across 2 continents, worked at a senior level across 3 continents and was known as a business fixer. I achieved all of this from the ground up as a mature student (I started at 25) WITHOUT going to university. I don’t tell you this to brag, I tell to you demonstrate how much responsibility I had, to give you a peak into the journey I took, and to show you that I had some experience of pressure and stress.  

My friend used to say to “You need to control your levels of stress, you can do it in your 20’s and maybe even your 30’s, but you can’t keep doing it into your 40’s” and I have to say, I didn’t really understand what she meant. I didn’t feel like my life was stressful; I loved what I did, loved the buzz and the challenge. What I now know is that this is what is known as a state of eustress, a healthy level of stress we are all programmed to experience and our hormonal system supports.  

What I also NOW know is what that unhealthy level of stress feels like, and how much pressure that puts on all levels of your being, emotional, mental and physical, regardless of your age. In fact, I’m probably still in the recovery phase. 

Ironically, I gave up my corporate career to share my experiences of life with others, to enhance their lives. I trained as a holistic counsellor, coach and hypnotherapist (amongst other things), and I wanted to use what I know and who I am to make a difference in the lives of others. Tony Robbins calls it the next level of your basic needs (after survival), where you have a drive and passion to make a difference. What I didn’t realise was just how much pressure I was introducing myself too, and how challenging it would be.  

When you run your own business you not only need to “do” what you are good at, you also need to “grow” your business (get clients) and “run” your business. I had some experience in some of the areas but not enough experience in all of the areas; for me this mix of creating a business that sustained my lifestyle (survival) with skills that I was learning as I went along was so much more challenging than just “doing” what I was good at, even at a really high level.  

The truth of the matter is, you can’t take care of your survival needs and make a difference to others if you don’t first take care of you. So now I’ve learnt (or I’m continuing to learn) that, as the most important asset in my business, I need to play nicely! 

Here’s some of what has worked for me: 

  1. Don’t over challenge yourself – set out to achieve one thing at a time. 
  2. Take time off – every day and every week. 
  3. Don’t over fill the diary – leave gaps around appointments. 
  4. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like it today – pick something else from your plan instead  
  5. The best laid plans, and they are important for clarity, don’t need military precision! – Be aware of how you feel and go with the flow of life.  
  6. Perfectionism is not a badge of honour!  
  7. Being self-sufficient is not a badge of honour – seek help! 

My recommendation is to find the ‘things’ that work for you and be as fastidious about taking care of you as you are about taking care of others in your life. You cannot run a business if you don’t take care of its most important asset. You!  

*This is just an honest reflection of my fear at the time. It is not a slight on the NHS or other services or a recommendation that you don’t seek help, the opposite in fact. We all need a support system.  

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